程序员笑话

多少程序员会换灯泡？
无 - 这是个硬件问题。


为什么程序员总是把万圣节和圣诞节搞混？
因为 Oct 31  等于 Dec 25。

这世界只有10种人：知道二进制的和不知道的。

一个程序员在肉店买了1公斤肉，一个小时候后他不高兴的跑回来说老板短了他24克。


一个人正吸着雪茄，吐着烟圈。他女朋友生气了发飙道，“你没看见包装盒上的警告么？吸烟有害健康！”
那人回答道：“我是程序员。我们不关心警告，只关心错误。”


你听过新出的克雷超级计算机么？他超级快，6秒钟就能执行完一个死循环。


两字符串走进一个酒吧坐下，酒保过来，“两位来点什么？”
第一个字符串说，“我要一杯湿啤 fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu。”
“对不起，”第二个字符串对酒保说，“我这哥们没有\0结尾。”

摘自雷登书屋数据处理字典：
死循环: n.,见无限循环。
无限循环：n.,见死循环。


一个计算机系学生坐在树下学习，这时他的一个同学骑了辆崭新的自行车停在他面前。第一个学生问，“从哪搞来的？”
骑车的同学答道，“我正在外面学习，一个漂亮女生骑了辆车过来停在我面前，她脱了她所有的衣服说，‘你可以拿走任何你想要的’。“
第一个学生说道，“你选的不错！不过她的衣服你穿好像有些小。”


摘译自http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/

评论

16 楼 sam.ds.chen 2008-06-19  

buaawhl 写道

林杰杰 写道

估计是把Dec看成了decimal吧。　
不过这个没看懂：
How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he's washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

邪恶地猜想一下,
pepper spray 辣椒水喷射剂. 防狼的.

够邪恶，但答案没有说服力 -- 是不是应该从文字上做文章（" SEX - hiS Eyes"）? 。。。还没想到真正说得通的答案。

Post一个搞笑的程序员笑话童话版：

引用

THE TOASTER


Once upon a time, in a kingdom not far from here, a king summoned two of his advisors for a test.  He showed them both a shiny metal box with two slots in the top, a control knob, and a lever.   What do you think this is? 

One advisor, an engineer answered first.   It is a toaster, he said.   The king asked,  how would you design an embedded computer for it?     The engineer replied,  Using a four bit micro controller, I would write a simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantifies its position to one of 16 shades of darkness, from snow white to coal black.  The program would use that darkness level as the index to a 16-element table of initial timer values.  Then it would turn on the heating elements and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table.  At the end of the time delay, it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast.  Come back next week, and I'll show you a working prototype. 

The second advisor, a computer scientist, immediately recognized the danger of such short-sighted thinking.  He said  Toasters don't just turn bread into toast, they are also used to warm frozen waffles.  What you see before you is really a breakfast food cooker.  As the subjects of your kingdom become more sophisticated, they will demand more capabilities.  They will need a breakfast food cooker that can also cook sausage, fry bacon, and make scrambled eggs.  A toaster that only makes toast will soon be obsolete.  If we don't look to the future, we will have to completely redesign the toaster in just a few years.

With this in mind, we can formulate a more intelligent solution to the problem.   First, create a class of breakfast foods.  Specialize this class into subclasses:  grains, pork, and poultry.  The specialization process should be repeated with grains divided into toast, muffins, pancakes, and waffles; pork divided into sausage, links, and bacon; and poultry divided into scrambled eggs, hard-boiled eggs, poached eggs, fried eggs, and various omelet classes. The ham and cheese omelet class is worth special attention because it must inherit characteristics from the pork, dairy, and poultry classes.  Thus, we see that the problem cannot be properly solved without multiple inheritance.  At run time, the program must create the proper object and send a message to the object that says, cook yourself  The semantics of this message depend, of course, on the kind of object, so they have a different meaning to a piece of toast than to scrambled eggs. 

Reviewing the process so far, we see that the analysis phase has revealed that the primary requirement is to cook any kind of breakfast food.  In the design phase, we have discovered some derived requirements.  Specifically, we need an object-oriented language with multiple inheritance.  Of course, users don't want the eggs to get cold while the bacon is frying, so concurrent processing is required, too. 

We must not forget the user interface.  The lever that lowers the food lacks versatility, and the darkness knob is confusing.  Users won't buy the product unless it has a user-friendly, graphical interface.  When the breakfast cooker is plugged in, users should see a cowboy boot on the screen.  Users click on it, and the message booting UNIX v. 8.3? appears on the screen. (UNIX 8.3 should be out by the time the product gets to the market.)  Users can pull down a
menu and click on the foods they want to cook. 

Having made the wise decision of specifying the software first in the design phase, all that remains is to pick an adequate hardware platform for the implementation phase.   An Intel 80386 with 8MB of memory, a 30MB hard disk, and a VGA monitor should be sufficient.  If you select a multi tasking, object oriented language that supports multiple inheritance and has a built-in GUI, writing the program will be a snap.   (Imagine the difficulty we would have had if we had foolishly allowed a hardware first design strategy to lock us into a
four-bit micro controller!). 

The king had the computer scientist thrown in the moat, and they all lived happily ever after.

15 楼 buaawhl 2008-05-09  

林杰杰 写道

估计是把Dec看成了decimal吧。　
不过这个没看懂：
How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he's washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

邪恶地猜想一下,
pepper spray 辣椒水喷射剂. 防狼的.

14 楼 林杰杰 2008-05-09  

keshin 写道

几乎所有的硬盘厂商和散存厂商都是按1k=1000算的……

It's a hardare problem

13 楼 林杰杰 2008-05-09  

估计是把Dec看成了decimal吧。　
不过这个没看懂：
How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he's washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

12 楼 keshin 2008-05-09  

几乎所有的硬盘厂商和散存厂商都是按1k=1000算的……

11 楼 lordhong 2008-05-09  

看原文连接吧。。。还有很多。。。

10 楼 buaawhl 2008-05-09  

Decimal 十进制
octal  八进制

dec 是 十 的词根.比如, decade.十年
oct 是 八 的词干.比如, octagonal 八角

ajoo 写道

日历据说是用罗马数字，跟英语的数字差俩，比如sept本来是7的。

有道理.

October 怎么看像是八月,结果是十月.
Dec 看起来像十月, 却是十二月.

9 楼 林杰杰 2008-05-09  

1K=1024

但是1kg只等于1000g

8 楼 ajoo 2008-05-09  

ddandyy 写道

汗........

第2个想到了.....刚才撞墙了....我想到了那个10是二进制  不过没想到是多少..

-_-

Dec不是12么?
英语实在是不行....
Oct是8?

日历据说是用罗马数字，跟英语的数字差俩，比如sept本来是7的。

7 楼 yehs220 2008-05-09  

好快啊大家

6 楼 yehs220 2008-05-09  

mal_lonely 写道

引用

一个程序员在肉店买了1公斤肉，一个小时候后他不高兴的跑回来说老板短了他24克。

这个呢？？嘛意思？

1KB = 1024B

5 楼 ddandyy 2008-05-09  

汗........

第2个想到了.....刚才撞墙了....我想到了那个10是二进制  不过没想到是多少..

-_-

Dec不是12么?
英语实在是不行....
Oct是8?

4 楼 ajoo 2008-05-09  

mal_lonely 写道

引用

一个程序员在肉店买了1公斤肉，一个小时候后他不高兴的跑回来说老板短了他24克。

这个呢？？嘛意思？

1k = 1024

3 楼 buaawhl 2008-05-09  

mal_lonely 写道

引用

一个程序员在肉店买了1公斤肉，一个小时候后他不高兴的跑回来说老板短了他24克。

这个呢？？嘛意思？

1K = 1024
1Kg = 1024g

-------------

嘿嘿, 让俺抢了先.

2 楼 ajoo 2008-05-09  

ddandyy 写道

为什么程序员总是把万圣节和圣诞节搞混？
因为 Oct 31 等于 Dec 25。

这世界只有10种人：知道二进制的和不知道的。

这两个实在是没看懂

兄弟开玩笑呢？

八进制的31=十进制的25

10就是用 二进制表达的2

1 楼 ddandyy 2008-05-09  

为什么程序员总是把万圣节和圣诞节搞混？
因为 Oct 31 等于 Dec 25。

这世界只有10种人：知道二进制的和不知道的。

这两个实在是没看懂