美国晚间脱口秀一周笑话精选（1）

事情的起因是这样的，哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨某次归家，发现进不去家门了，不知道是不是美国没有开锁公司，这位教授就和司机一起决定破门而入。估计这位教授平时一直闷头搞研究不太出门，所以邻居也不太认识他，看到有人闯门就报警了。于是克劳力警官就赶来逮捕了教授。本来说清楚也就没事了，问题在于是一个白人警察逮捕了一个黑人教授，最后还被证明抓错了。于是引起了轩然大波，教授说警察种族歧视，警察说教授威胁他自己依法办案没什么错。最后的解决办法就是奥巴马请两人到白宫召开“啤酒峰会”，大家坐在一起，喝点小酒聊聊家常最好就大事化小小事化无了。于是这件事成了上周被谈论的热点问题。

"To ease tensions, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the police officer who arrested him to join him for a beer at the White House. And if that works out, Obama's going to have Ahmadinejad and Netanyahu over for Jaegerbombs." --Conan O'Brien
为了缓解紧张局面，奥巴马总统请了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨和逮捕了教授的警察到白宫一起喝杯啤酒。如果这有效的话，奥巴马就会请艾哈迈德-内贾德和内塔尼亚胡一起来点红牛。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"He invited the professor and the cop to come to the White House on Thursday for beer. Alcohol usually cools things off. Have you noticed that? That's where you want to go." --David Letterman
他请了教授和警察周四一起到白宫喝啤酒。酒精总是会冷却一切。你注意到那个问题了吗？这就是你想去某个地方的原因。——大卫·莱特曼

"They had the big beer summit earlier tonight at the White House. President Obama had a beer with Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him. The meeting got off to a rough start when a neighbor called the police to say Gates was breaking into the White House." --Conan O'Brien
他们今晚在白宫举行了一个大型啤酒峰会。奥巴马总统和哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨还有那个逮捕他的警察。会议的开始很艰难，因为一个邻居打电话给警察说盖茨正在闯入白宫。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"Big beer fest at the White House. And today, Obama sent Vice President Biden on an emergency goodwill mission for pretzels, so that will be good." --David Letterman
白宫的一个啤酒盛会。然后今天，奥巴马派副总统乔·拜登出席一个紧急的椒盐脆饼干亲善任务，所以这应该挺好的。——大卫·莱特曼

"Of course, President Obama has invited Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and the policeman who arrested him to the White House. Reportedly, Obama is going to serve them Budweiser. And in the spirit of racial harmony, Budweiser is changing its nickname from the 'King of Beers' to the 'Martin Luther King of Beers.'" --Conan O'Brien
当然啦，奥巴马总统已经邀请了哈佛教授亨利·路易斯·盖茨和那个逮捕他的警察一起到白宫。据报道，奥巴马将用百威啤酒招待他们。在种族和睦的精神下，百威的别称从“啤酒之王”改成了“啤酒中的马丁·路德·金”。——柯南·奥布莱恩

"People were so fascinated by what beer they were drinking. Apparently Gates had Red Stripe, Crowley had Blue Moon, and Obama, just to screw with the conservatives, had a 40 of King Cobra." --Bill Maher
人们都对他们喝的啤酒着迷了。很显然盖茨喝的是牙买加红带，克劳力的是蓝月，而奥巴马，为了给保守派们添添乱，喝的是40盎司的蛇王啤酒。——比尔·马赫

"The police officer, Officer Crowley ... apparently, he said Henry Louis Gates was threatening. And by threatening, of course, he meant he was an educated black man." --Bill Maher
这位警官、克劳力警官，显然，他曾经说过亨利·路易斯·盖茨曾经威胁他。而这个威胁，很显然，他的意思是他是一个受过教育的黑人。——比尔·马赫

"So, I don't know if this is a case of racism. The police in Cambridge say it had nothing to do with Gates being black. They said they would have given the same treatment to any minority." --Bill Maher
所以，我也不知道这是不是种族主义的官司。剑桥市警察说这和盖茨是不是黑人完全无关。他们说他们会给任何少数派同等的待遇。——比尔·马赫