不要跟一个女人吵架

摘要: 如果发生争吵，一定至少有一方有错；而女人从不认错，所以只能男人有错；就算男人无错，惹女人生气，也铁定有错；如再不肯认错，岂非错上加错？你看，逻辑就是逻辑，女人们的逻辑无可辩驳~~~
Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

刚才我15岁的女友告诉我她怀孕了，这不是重点，重点是她老爸是个退伍兵，每回去他家的时候他都在我面前擦枪。FML



Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML

最怕猪一样的队友，今天在进行比赛训练，结果有个哥们拿着一把上了刺刀的步枪挥舞了一下，你没猜错，戳到人了，嗯，那个倒霉蛋就是我，我现在正在急诊室里面缝合我的脚。FML



Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

楼主是学校的足球对队长，平常比较喜欢劲爆的音乐，结果今天在图书馆看书的时候不小心把耳机线拔出来了，当时楼主正在听Celine Dion（席琳·迪翁 -- 以高音著称），瞬时高亢的音乐充满了整个图书馆。。。FML



Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

我一直在暗恋的女神跟我打招呼了“你好，认识一下，请问你是新来的嘛？”---- 我从幼儿园就跟你一直上同一所学校。FML



Today, while babysitting, the power went off. My little cousin pointed into the dark kitchen behind me and asked, "Who's that man standing there?"

差点儿被吓死，真事儿，就在刚刚，楼主的叔叔把我的表弟放在我们家让我们帮忙看着，然后晚上的时候我父母出去了，楼主(女)负责照看我的小表弟，结果突然停电了，然后。。。我的表弟突然指着我身后黑乎乎的厨房问我“站在你后边的那个男的是谁？”，真的吓死我了。FML



Today, I got in an argument with my wife. I told her that I feel like she immediately disagrees with anything I say. She immediately disagreed and said she never does that. FML

跟老婆吵架了，我说“你从来就不会听我的”，然后，“你这是瞎说八道，我什么时候没听你的了”。。。。。（就是现在你就没听）FML

原文地址：http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/29