上帝为我遮住了眼，还特么把窗户给关上了

Today, my manager said I could go on a break when he came back from his. After 7 hours with him still missing, I started to get dizzy. I ended up passing out and hitting my head on a ladder from lack of food. I woke up in the hospital to a card from my manager saying, "Get Well. Don't Sue." FML

在小店工作，工作人员只有我跟我们店长，店长跟我预定今天我们轮换值班，结果轮到他的时候他一直没有回来，老子连续上了7个小时的班，最终饿的晕了过去，然而这还不是重点，重点是老子从医院醒来的时候发觉我的店长给我留了一张纸条，上面写着“快点儿好起来，你要是敢投诉就死定了”，FML



Today, myself and a co-worker had an aisle blocked because we were arranging new merchandise. A lady plowed her way through, scattering our work everywhere. She then yelled that we were lazy for having an aisle blocked and stormed off. FML

楼主在超市工作，今天跟同事在整理货架的时候把暂时占用了一下过道（超市中的让人走的通道，两边都是商品的），结果有一位中年妇女骂骂咧咧的从过道走过来了，一边走一边把我们放在过道的东西乱踢，还没等楼主跟同事说话，人家留下一句“懒惰的东西”然后扬长而去。FML



Today, I had a chemistry midterm. There were 15 math problems, but no matter how many times I pressed the "On" button of my calculator, it wouldn't turn on. There were no spare calculators. Later, I tried to show my friend that my calculator wouldn't turn on. I pressed the button. It turned on. FML

上化学课，需要用到计算器，但是我的当时不知道怎么了，就是没法启动，然后我就想跟我的朋友吐槽一下，“我这个破计算器，怎么都启动不了了”，然后华丽丽的看到我按下启动按钮之后计算器启动了，我哥们跟看煞笔一样看着我。   FML



Today, I was laid off from the job I'd had for two years. They couldn't even manage to spell my name or the company's name right on the severance letter. Guess I was a memorable employee. FML

公司的离职证明居然把我的名字跟公司的名字都拼错了，我特么一定是去了一家假公司。FML



Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

去加油站加油，发觉忘带钱包了，绞尽脑汁最终终于想起来自己的银行卡号，然后兴奋的去收银台付钱，出来开上车就走，刚走了不一阵子，车子开始哼哼响，然后不走了，老子特么的加成了柴油。FML



Today, I'm recovering from a urinary tract infection. The infection made me have to pee constantly. Now the antibiotics I'm taking for it are giving me the shits instead. FML

前两天尿道感染，然后一直不停的跑厕所尿尿，最后受不了了，找医生开了点儿药，嗯，现在倒是不用尿尿了，娘的改拉屎了。FML



原文地址：http://www.shitmylife.cn/subject/info/18