I type them, not copy.
http://yeeyan.com/articles/view/jansenzjh/3266/dz
I have never been in such good shape. I have never spent so much time outside. I caught the past three sunsets in a row, and unless I am mistaken, I will catch the one tonight. I have never felt so close to my family. I have never felt so sure that I am doing everything right. I live in a FEMA trailer with my parents. I moved home from Los Angels the February before last, quitting the job that had taken me almost a year of miserable internships to get, to make sure firsthand that my family was OK. Now I work on my dad's house on the weekends and at his dental laboratory during the week. Shutting the curtain on the bunk-bed area doesn't always cut it for privacy, so I spend a lot of time outside, exercising the dog and just trying to get away from people. I take the dog out on the levee and run to get rid of all my frustration over hot being able to have a job that will allow me to afford rent. I run to get out, when I have been stuck inside, reading to escape from life, not event able to sit up straight in my tiny bunk. I run to feel like I am doing something when I am overwhelmed by all things I can not do anything about.
The reason I caught the sunset yesterday is that we have been waiting for two weeks for FEMA to come fix a leak in our plumbing. I was so frustrated with running out in a towel to turn the water off, then mopping up the floor with rotating assortment of towels that we have hung outside the trailer, that I decided to put on my bathing suit and shampoo under the hose. But God, that was a beautiful sunset last night.
I know it might sound strange that I am indirectly describing Hurricane Katrina as a blessing, since it took my family's home and recovering from it has taken over our lives. But I love my awful life so much right now, that I find it hilarious when I an unable to convince anyone else of it.
I make less than the people working at Popeye's. I repeatedly have to suffer the indignity of telling people that I live with my parents. But I have finally gotten rid of back pain that the doctors always told me was from stress. I occasionally have weekends when I realize that I am building a house with my dad, which I used to dream about when I was 6, watching Bob Vila with him. And i am back where I belong, no longer kidding myself that there is anywhere else I want to be.
I believe in strange blessings, because taking away my house brought me home.
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