True Love is Based on Sharing

I have heard of such a statement, "Love is a kind of hurt, but hurt is also a kind of love." It seems very popular that hurt can be done by the name of love, just like what An Jiahe has done to his wife in the sitcom "Never Talk to Strangers". When his wife talks with strangers, he will be tortured by tremendous jealousy and beat her heavily out of control. When the abuse is over, he regrets for what he has done to her, and asks for her forgiveness. He always explains that his jealousy results from his love. According to him, there is no jealousy without love. It seems his jealousy is an inevitable result of his strong love, and his love should be responsible for his mistakes. What an absurd logic he has! Then, a question comes to my mind, what on earth does his love mean?

Suppose you are a man, when you love a woman but she does not love you at all, or when you put unnecessary feeling on her and bring her oppression and burden, even pain and torture, your love is undoubtedly a kind of hurt. When you occupy her area for a long time, invade her psychological space, or prevent her from acting freely, your love then becomes a kind of offence. In my eyes, such love cannot be counted as true love, and it is a pretended or superficial love at most.

The ordinary love is based on need. Have you ever considered why you will love someone? It is just because she can satisfy your need, but you will not admit this fact. Such love is essentially a kind of self-love. You are weak, so you only care yourself most, and you need someone to light up your life and give you strength. In fact you are a beggar of love. The love based on need cannot last long, because your need will change along with the time. When she can no longer meet your new need, your love will naturally fade away. Therefore, the love inspired from outside only has a short span of life. But on the contrary, if you are rich in love and want to share it with others, just like the sun is shining down on everything, only such love can lead you to genuine happiness.

In my opinion, true love should be based on sharing. If you have something good, you share it with others; only under such situations can you understand a little about what true love is. You will never understand true love until you are ready to share your best with others without any special expectation. It is an unbroken truth that there is no love if there is no giving. When you give something to others and you expect others to thank you for it, as long as you have the thought in your mind, you are still apart from the true love, because what you have done is nothing but a trade. Your giving is for your own sake, that is to say, you want others to thank you for your giving, and your giving has its goal of expecting more repayments. If others are indifferent to your giving, you will feel disappointed, even a little hurt. If your so-called kindness enjoys no expected response from others, it will hurt you deeply in your mind, and you will think what you have done is nothing but waste of time. In fact, when analyzing myself, I find I am not the exception. If I gain no response from others, a little disappointment will attack my heart. Many things, done by the name of love, often result in not happiness but disappointment, just because they are not a sharing but a trade. A successful trade means that we gain more with less pay, which is based on the principle of selfishness. But, true love means that you give without taking repayment into account, which is based on the principle of unselfishness. Trade must be based on the selfishness; if you do trade according to the principle of unselfishness, then you are doomed to suffer a loss in your business. Love must be based on the unselfishness; if you pursue love according to the principle of selfishness, then you are doomed to suffer jealousy in your heart. Trade and love are two extremes in this world; one is the representative of selfishness, while another is the representative of unselfishness. The world needs not only trade but also love, if we compare love to the light, then we should compare trade to the dark. Trade is related to our mind, but love is related to our heart. In my eyes, mind helps us gain more interest, but heart helps us gain more happiness. The key is how to keep a balance between mind and heart. When we are doing business, we need sharp mind to analyze various situations and make proper decisions to win more profit, but when we are pursuing love, we need sincere heart to share what we have with our friends or lovers to enjoy more happiness. In my opinion, the marriage is a combination of both trade and love, that is to say, we not only need mind to analyze but also need heart to share if we want to make a marriage work.